Written by: Jhoe Benice Gundayao
Illustrated by: Jefferson Juan
“Do you ever wonder why things have to turn out the way they do?”
People have different characteristics and personalities based on their experiences — but challenges primarily affect how they act and decide on various situations. Most of the time, people define their love language based on actions and needs. The Enneagram and MBTI are personality tests that determine how a person grasps situations and makes decisions. MBTI has 16 personality types divided into four categories of behavior; this also combines different personalities that could make wise decisions. The Enneagram helps a person realize their roles and the results of their characters would come up; it focuses on how our fears will develop and how we engage in life. Knowing one's strengths and weaknesses will enable one to navigate life more successfully. On the other hand, love language helps people manage relationships and communicate their needs.
How do MBTI, love language, and Enneagram change over time as we experience different life stages?
When we were children, the reality connected to our childhood foreshadows where we wanted to be. Love language communicates our love to loved ones, who can define how we want to express love to us. But, have you ever wondered how our personality changes over time?
Well, yes, because of various situations, our personality continues to transform and make us better― depending on our beliefs and how they would change us.
As we get older, we can observe the changes in our behavior. Before, we couldn't understand before experiencing it. We feared being abandoned and walking alone — hearing hurtful words quickly broke our hearts. After realizing that hurting ourselves is escaping suffering, we see ourselves as perfect and worthy of loving. That love, to accept and forget the past, makes us express the best version of ourselves. Experiencing this can answer questions on how our Enneagram changes in identifying the basic rules in our lives.
In contrast, acting with different personalities could be a positive change that shapes throughout, and all types could apply to ourselves. Nevertheless, it has personalities that have been dominant since we were children, but because of people's curiosity, we intend to change. As we explore to know ourselves, our unique personalities will remain to make us memorable.
Defining MBTI is a challenge that needs the evaluation of our feelings and emotions. As we can observe, time flies faster as we get older; it is where our age could impact our personalities. Before, we were exposed to different situations that still made us happy and think that life is simple — but now, as we grow, realizing that our life has responsibilities makes us tired of knowing our priorities in this world. Any personality can determine us, but there is a personality that will stay even; perceiving different personalities, it still intends to develop and change.
When the people around us misinterpret our personalities, it leads us to stress that might come up as a sign for us to change. The pandemic is one of the circumstances that lead to our personality change; even though we try to become extroverted again because of being alone and introverted, we are still afraid to create an attachment with people despite hanging out with them. According to the theory of MBTI, our personalities do not change, but it still depends on our experiences. As we mature, we remain the same people; we only reflect on ourselves from the past and who truly is us.
Anyone has their love language; even if we are hurt, we still want to feel loved and be loved again. Love language shows how we want to receive acts of love as our relationships evolve. A simple hug and kiss on the forehead makes us romantic (everyone loves it!), and sometimes it makes us cry (a feeling of faith and missed love). Even if someone hurts us, we accept them because of love. Based on different dramas we have watched, we know that love language changes over time because of upsetting situations — but given time and communication, love will remain.
It also affects partners with an "opposite love language." When you want to receive a word of affirmation, but your partner only wants to give an act of service despite having the opposite, both partners should be flexible to stay longer. Parents always show their love to their children by cooking meals and spending time together. A kiss or a hug also shows appreciation and communication between them. As part of growing up, it contributes to how it will express love through acts of service, quality time, physical touch, and words of affirmation. Love is exemplified through action, which is "action speaks louder than voice," exhibited through acts of service and quality time, and often by hearing words of affirmation to feel valued.
Even though love hurts, we still accept the person hurting us to a certain extent. That gives us trauma that cannot heal quickly — it influences our love language, and sometimes if we feel it differently, we doubt that it manipulates us. Each love language: word of affirmation, physical touch, quality time, an act of service, etc. sometimes, we want to receive it from our past, and when we mature, it changes. Love can hold back and bond again, the lovers.
Everyone views love differently, but time and experiences give them a reason to keep together. Even if it leads to self-destructive behavior, they sacrifice anything for the people they love. An option to give without expecting anything in return, a love that endures, and an unconditional love.
